I’ve watched the first WrestleMania a couple times, but not in over a decade. The oversized VHS tape with Hulk Hogan and Mr. T on the cover at Blockbuster Video is branded into my childhood memory. And while I always thought it was cool, compared with the pageantry of Mania 2 and 3 it felt like a weak line-up and show, especially for something seen throughout history as Vince McMahon’s big bet. It’s basically an average regional wrestling card + celebrities.
My wrestling tastes have changed though, and I also got to watch this show in 2017 with the benefit of watching the entire build to it via Tuesday Night Titans on the WWE Network. And the build was actually pretty damn good. A lot of stuff set the stage here: they shot the big angle with Mr. T at War to Settle the Score (taking place at the same venue as the first Mania, MSG, and aired on MTV) and Rock n’ Wrestling got Hogan and Piper’s name out in the world. Junkyard Dog was a new star with some buzz, the U.S. Express was the hot new babyface tag team who dethroned the douchebags who held the Tag Titles for a year, Beefake and David Sammartino were new young guys getting a little push, Snuka was in Hogan and Mr. T’s corner to follow-up on the Piper’s Pit coconut angle, and they teased Andre By God the Giant RETIRING.
Outside of the ring, the Dr. D/John Stossel incident had taken place. It got upper-card heel Dr. D fired, though he’s always claimed Vince told him to do that, and with no evidence at all I completely buy that. Young, fired up Vinnie Mac getting his wrestling company some buzz by having a guy slap the shit out the 20/20 guy? Sounds about right. Bob Backlund and Sgt. Slaughter left WWF right before the first Mania, which blows my mind. Patera had been getting a push into early 1985 but doesn’t appear on the card.
This really is a solid card, though understated compared to nowadays. The undercard introduced some new stars (King Kong Bundy, Ricky Steamboat), the IC Title and Tag Titles were on the line, the Women’s Title match had the big Cyndi Lauper tie-in, Andre vs. Studd had been building for a year and features new manager Bobby Heenan, and the main event was a big time EVENT that weaved both Piper vs. Snuka and Piper vs. Hogan together. Even the Tito Santana vs. Executioner opener is Tito Santana vs. Buddy Rose, and though Matt Borne didn’t do anything of note in WWF until he became Doink, him wrestling Ricky Steamboat on the first Mania is pretty wild.
Plus there is just some iconic shit – Andre throwing the money around, Richter and Lauper charging out to the ring, Liberace dancing with the Rockettes, Rowdy Roddy Piper snarling.
David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake is still weird though. Bruno Sammartino returning to MSG in the corner of his boy is a nice hook, otherwise just a strange boring deal.
Some other quick thoughts: This felt like a show about introduction. No idea what the breakdown was for “new fans” vs. folks who already liked wrestling, but felt like Vince was speaking to the former. Bundy is introduced in a big way that also establishes a match can end at any second, the Tito Santana vs. Greg Valentine feud is re-established, a couple tropes are established: title can’t change hands on countout, tag team heels keep tag team babyface in the corner.
Also, everything was mic’d really well, better than usual MSG fare: the crowd’s boos for Sheik and Volkoff rang through the building, the loud clang of the ring bell.
All the presentation was on point: the good vs. evil contrast in the intro with Lauper & Richter on a white background and Leilani Kai & Moolah shrouded in darkness. Cameramen and newspaper reporters surround the ring. Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura aren’t all OVER-THE-TOP WWE ANNOUNCER but are still doing the hard sell: “Woodstock is to Rock n’ Roll what WrestleMania is to wrestling…” Most guys do quick interviews with Mean Gene in the locker room before each match and it’s fun to see guys casually come into frame and cut a damn PROMO, then walk out of frame only for their opponent to come into frame and cut another damn PROMO.
Lord Alfred Hayes reports from the entrance area and it’s neat to see all the wrestlers casually walk by him as he throws to the Mean Gene interviews – no theme music for everybody just yet. Everybody looks like a unique superstar, even from behind. Johnny Valiant tartles Al with a “WAKE UP!” as he comes in with Beefcake.
The first line uttered outside of commentary on the first ever WrestleMania is Howard Finkel deadpan delivering, “Please rise … here, to sing our National Anthem, is the WWF’s own … Mean Gene Okerlund!” The crowd pops for Gene who actually sings OK and I’m not sure if this was meant to be a joke or not.
1. Tito Santana vs. The Executioner (Buddy Rose)
In the promo before this, Mean Gene calls The Executioner undefeated. Now, Tito Santana himself had beaten AN Executioner on TNT just a few months before, but I guess not THE Executioner. I love how low-rent Executioner is, just a sleazy old guy in a cheap mask … “I’m here to go after the leg and nothing else and you’re going down, Santana … I am a big leaguer!” PSYCHOLOGY~!
Match itself is completely basic but mostly works: criss-cross, back body drop, Executioner bails, Tito works a headlock, Executioner goes after the leg, Tito rallies but gets cut-off, Executioner goes back to the leg, Tito kicks him over the top, slams him in, hits the flying forearm and locks on a figure-four for the win. Nice payoff to the Valentine feud. A perfectly decent, unremarkable opener. As a show opener pretty pitch perfect, as the opener to the card that would go on to introduce many a young fan to wrestling at the local Blockbuster a little questionable. **1/2
2. S.D. Jones vs. King Kong Bundy w/ Jimmy Hart
King Kong Bundy’s chest is HUGE, what a look (shirtless and bald-headed) and what a promo… the scariest version of Uncle Fester. I liked Jimmy Hart standing behind him all excited and that it was Bundy who did most of the talking.
This match is 25-seconds (promoted as 9-seconds, fuckin’ wrestling). It is also famous and therefore better than a lot of other longer matches. S.D. charges > bearhug > rammed into corner > Bundy splash in corner > Bundy splash on mat > 1-2-3. What a way to establish and basically debut the guy going after Hogan next year. *
3. Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne
A decent showcase for newcomer Steamboat, with clean-cut good guy Ricky taking on sleazy blonde-haired Matt Borne. Basic shit that works… shoot-off from a headlock, leapfrog, chop, snapmare, chinlock, side headlock. Borne has his moments… does the Snuka pose, sells an atomic drop big. Ricky keeps going back to the side headlock and Borne takes some fun goofball bumps. A crossbody wraps it up. **
4. David Sammartino w/ Bruno Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake w/ Johnny Valiant
Didn’t realize that Brutus Beefcake took Hillbilly Jim out of condition before Mania. Jim was getting some focus the last couple months but doesn’t appear at all. Early Beefcake had something to him as a new age 80s guy who didn’t give a fuck and was probably zonked out of his mind – Johnny V asks him to talk in their backstage promo, and he makes a farting noise into the mic. Way to capture the cultural zeitgeist there folks.
It felt like a big-ish deal to have Bruno return to the Garden in the corner of his boy, but maaaan was this an almost territory-killing affair. A 12-minute Brutus Beefcake match that felt like 25. The first Mania was a great example to a novice fan of the fun of wrestling (Andre! Hogan! Mr. T!), it was also a great example that wrestling can be a real turd. Way too long for two guys who couldn’t keep it cooking. They did everything technically right – David’s fire and out-wrestling of Brutus, Brutus stooging and doing a beatdown… but it was boring as shit. Bruno going after Johnny V is fun stuff, otherwise this was rough. *1/2
5. WWF Intercontinental Title: Greg “The Hammer” Valentine [c] w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Junkyard Dog
Greg The Hammer and JYD could fucking work, baby. This isn’t the most exciting thing in the world but it’s classic babyface vs. heel stuff and clicked as a worthwhile undercard title match. Valentine reacting to JYD spots is the good stuff. JYD is a very conservative wrestler, who’s over and has a few nice spots. He’s very professional wrestling, ala a Boogie Woogie Man Jimmy Valiant, so part of ya appreciates it and part of ya isn’t all that impressed. JYD fires off shots, Greg reacts, Greg goes after the leg, JYD comes back, Greg cheats to win. Tito runs out and protests the finish, so the match restarts but Valentine counts himself out. Liked so much of this even if time has passed it by. **3/4
6. WWF World Tag Team Title: The U.S. Express (Mike Rotundo & Barry Windham) [c] w/ Captain Lou Albano vs. Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff [c] w/ “Classy” Freddie Blassie
The U.S. Express backstage wearing ring jackets with overdubbed 80s sitcom music and clean-shaven Lou Albano in front of them as they prepare to enter into Madison Square Garden is professional wrestling. Classic Nikolai Anthem bit here, just such wonderful glorious heat.
This match is nothing fancy but does everything you want a wrestling match to do.
It’s basic tag shit, heel lumbering not-fancy foreigners vs. All-American babyfaces. Shoulder tackle/rope-run stuff early that pops the crowd as Sheiky Baby gets his. Barry milks a legdrop to Sheik’s cock. Sheik dropkicks Volkoff by mistake, but he then kicks Rotundo with the loaded boot and the foreigners go to work. Barry eventually gets the hot tag and is a house of fire before he loses to a cane shot, and I go on to think Barry Windham is a chump for the rest of my childhood. ***1/4
“What cane? I didn’t have no cane!” Fred Blassie is an American classic. Time to build Sheik and Nikolai up for another run with Hogan, brother.
7. $15,000 Bodyslam Challenge – If Andre Doesn’t Slam Studd, He Retires: Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan
Bobby Heenan in the bedazzled satin jacket, dressed up extra-special for WrestleMania like he’s Stephanie McMahon, is phenomenal. He and Studd do some great promo work before the match, Studd was an underrated promo and Heenan is just the best: “For $15,000 and a haircut, we’re eliminating Andre the Giant from professional wrestling.”
Aaaanyways – this is kind of a shit match, but one of those generational divide type of things: loved this as a kid, as all I remembered was Heenan being a weasal and Andre looking big and throwing the money around. They just kind of club and choke each other awkwardly, and Andre locks in a loooong bearhug in the middle. Exactly what it probably needed to be, but also ever-so-slightly an embarrassment. Still might have liked it more than a similar Mania match in The Undertaker vs. Triple H. *3/4
8. WWF Women’s Title: Leilani Kai [c] w/ Fabulous Moolah vs. Wendi Richter w/ Cyndi Lauper and David Wolff
Lord Alfred gets a kiss on the lips from Moolah as she enters. This match is all presentation. Nothing special, but my god: Rock n’ Wrestling mainstream publicity. Cyndi fucking Lauper. Wendi’s pre-match promo, where she’s all fired up and pissed off and her inner Southerner comes out. Moolah’s dollar-sign sunglasses. Moolah raising her hands like she’s your bitchiest possible aunt, Lucille Bluth before it was a thing. Richter and Cyndi charging to the ring. Wendi fired the fuck up. Cyndi waving her towel around. Crowd going APESHIT. ICONIC!!! Match itself is armbars and hair pulls and Richter really sloppily reversing a top rope cross body for the pin and none of it’s very good but everybody pops so who fuckin’ knows. **
9. Hulk Hogan & Mr. T w/ Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper & “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff w/ Cowboy Bob Orton (Special Guest Referees: Muhammad Ali and Pat Patterson) (Special Guest Timekeeper: Liberace) (Special Guest Ring Announcer: Billy Martin)
This match is GREAT. Amazing presentation but also great classic professional wrestling. The pomp and circumstance surrounding it is so overwhelmingly incredible. Yankees manager Billy Martin ring announces and gets the crowd on his side early, with a classic “You are the best fans in the world.” Jesse Ventura is in full Jesse mode: “What a spectacle we’ve got here, Gino … unbelievable … the greatest thing I’ve ever seen in association with the world of professional wrestling” as the Rockettes enter.
Liberace with the Rockettes is a PARTY. So incredible, so over-the-top hokey and awesome. Muhammad Ali had been retired, has less swagger at this point, but was still THE GREATEST. To be perfectly honest this was probably the first introduction to Ali for a lot of young wrestling-obsessed children in the late-80s and early-90s. Boxer Jose Torres is shown in the crowd. Pat Patterson is the in-ring referee.
Rowdy Roddy Piper comes out with a full-tilt bagpipe entrance, which is just EPIC. Piper walks out smiling, filled with swagger. He stops short of getting into it with a fan. Trash is flying all over the place. Ace Bob Orton is in tow. Hulkamania meanwhile is in full fucking effect, it’s genuinely impressive how massive he became just a year in. Mr. T played a role but this crowd is AMPED. Hogan rushes out pumping his first, Mr. T charges forward in his robe, all focused and whatnot, both flanked by the Superfly. Robe-wearing Paul Orndorff threatens Hogan and Mr. T with a BROOM and breaks it over his knee. Piper, Orndorff and Ace HUG to jeers from the crowd. Liberace has his own little bell that he rings to start the match.
If you want to see Vince McMahon’s dream at work, and also an example of said dream actually delivering a compelling pro wrestling product, this is the match.
I hope Patterson was the agent for this match, because this whole thing is genius. They milk guys tagging in early. Orndorff – fully and completely roided out – cowers from Hogan and tags Piper. The crowd is HYPED. Mr. T begs to get in, Hogan asks the crowd… roof blows off when Hogan puts the hand out. The crowd chants T! T! T! T and Piper go nose-to-nose and have a slap-off. Piper takes T down but T fights out and Piper is disgusted. T then takes Piper down and Piper is PISSED. He drives T into the corner and double teams him with Orndorff which leads to Hogan running in, Ali running in, Snuka and Ace running in, and Ali taking shots at Piper and Ace – AMAZING! Piper and Orndorff bail and Hogan BEGS them to come back, with his big-ass face right in front of the camera because this is a PRODUCTION.
Hogan kicks some ass, and Mr. T comes in and starts bodyslamming and hiptossing people. The crowd is BUZZING. Hogan hits a boot on Piper who takes a massive bump over the top. Orndorff blindsides Hogan, Piper hits Hogan with a chair, and as Gorilla says: “pandemonium breaking loose here in the Garden!” Piper and Orndorff go to work on Hogan and are total dicks while Hogan sells his ass off. T tries to save but gets pushed back by Patterson. The crowd is going insane and there’s been like two bumps taken. Mr. T gets a tag but Orndorff holds him down as the crowd chants for T and Ace gets on the apron and talks shit to them. Hogan finally gets the tag, the ref gets distracted, Ace charges in, Snuka headbutts him away, Orndorff gets Hogan in a full nelson, T and Piper brawl outside, Ace jumps off the top with a cast shot but hits Orndorff, and Hogan and T win to a major pop.
Like, they could’ve milked the hot tags better but otherwise this is pretty legendary. Huge presentation, everybody played their role perfectly, two legendary heels, used celebrities well, established Hogan as THE guy. The Mr. T vs. Piper actions were special, Piper has an all-time great heel performance, and to his credit Mr. T didn’t look super out of place – was in there with three pros in a match probably laid out step-by-step, but he looked focus and not lost. Awesome match. ****
EPIC HOGAN POSE!!! CREDITS!!!! COORDINATING CONSULTANT: JIM BARNETT!!!!
This is less a wrestling show than a moment in time. Top-to-bottom, not the best. A little bit bad actually, though everything post-Sammartino match is well worth watching. It’s legendary, though, and in the long run that’s probably better. Two of the best babyfaces ever squashing dudes, Bundy with his 9-second win, championships, Cyndi Lauper, Battle of the Giants, Hogan and Mr. T and Rowdy Roddy Piper, and Vince McMahon introducing his world to the real world. 6/10
